Sometimes You Do Have to Ask Why

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I was reminded of this by http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2009/10/i-will-never-forget.html. I thank Jennifer and many other bloggers that will hold these women and men up to the Lord for the loss they have suffered. I truly can't imagine the hurt from that type of loss.

My husband and I struggled with infertility for many years. I was blessed to have an easy fix to my infertility and then the ability to conceive our now 19 month old miracle. I remember each and everyday of my pregnancy being absolutely fearful of what could happen. Every little tummy ache, cramp, etc. would start my mind just running.

I remember there being a couple of times of going to the hospital because of bleeding. I think the first time was around 3 or 4 months along and my Mom and Stepfather coming to the hospital to be with my husband and I. There was this chart on the wall that shows the state of your baby at each month in the womb. I remember my Stepfather pointing out that even at only 4 months along that my baby was already almost completely formed and looked like a normal baby. I of course knew she was already a baby upon conception, but that chart just put it really in perspective that there was really a baby in me. I hadn't felt movement at that point yet and hadn't even found out what I was having, but for some reason that chart just reminded me that no matter when in my pregnancy if I suffered a loss that it would be a baby, my baby.

I know that God will not give anyone more than they can handle, but sometimes I have to question why he would allow the loss of babies. What I have learned from reading of these stories of loss like http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ is that God's grace in these times is beyond what our minds can comprehend.

I know my husband must wonder why I read such sad blogs and why I get so invested in them, but I get so much from those blogs. My faith has grown so much from the words that God has given Angie to put on her blog. Angie speaks to me and I am not "one of those" as MckMama would say. God turns our sorrow into joy and our mourning into gladness.

Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.Jeremiah 31:12-14

I don't know where I am really going with this post other than to remind others to lift those mommies and daddies up in prayer that have experienced a loss of a child. I pray those may find comfort, joy, and gladness in their time of sorrow.